Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
