I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
