ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
