How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
