It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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