yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize