STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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