and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Drake has all the answers
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
