Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this boner is exhausting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
