just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize