i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
