So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
