the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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