he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
only if we run a train.
done.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
