dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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