I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
