I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
