he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
