Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
