I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
