hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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