And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
