whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I understand Curling. That high.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
