just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize