your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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