I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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