I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
