Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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