Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You brought string cheese to the strip club
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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