Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
