are you still at the devil's house?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
