Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
