Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
