Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
