I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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