his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
