hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
