im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
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