Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
