no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
