I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
