I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Damn victory sex feels great
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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