Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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