Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just want nice things and good sex
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
