I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
