my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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