What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
