Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
