Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
