I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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