He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
