this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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