Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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