she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
