if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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