He kissed a someone with a penis
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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