Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
