WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
