look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
