is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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