Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
