I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
