I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
