did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
