Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
