Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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