your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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