Nicole vs. Life
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
