were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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