My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
